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The Pumpkin Wars have ended (for now)

The HarnAss

In 2016 my buddy Tom Harness, his team members at Harness Digital Marketing and I started a friendly Pumpkin War. Tom despises all things pumpkin from the coffee to the beer and all products in between. However, Eleni and Lynsey enjoy the fall time favorite. (Yes, I know it’s not all yet.) I’m more in the middle, but the team calls me Cool Uncle Kevin (actually, I kind of gave myself that name) so I decided to join Team Pumpkin Everything.

Also, I think Team Pumpkin Sucks is too much. I don’t hate all things pumpkin, but I don’t love everything either. Really I’m more like Team Pumpkin Switzerland. So for last years war, we traded gifs and memes involving pumpkins mostly over Twitter. Then Tom fired shots on Facebook in a much more public forum and others got involved making their most creative memes either in support of or disdain of pumpkins.

It was fun and I’d say we were pretty even last year, not having an official way of declaring a “winner” of this war we’d created. So in 2017, I knew the time was coming to engage in another battle and was blindsided when I woke up one morning with several memes that were hatin’ on pumpkins. I fired back with a couple of duds as Tom and his pumpkin bashers hit Team Pumpkin Everything with more ammo.

Wrestling with pumpkins

At first, we were using pics from the internet and adding our own text to them. Then I guess I can say I started the below the belt shot with a picture of Tom dressed as a Tiguan and a Tony the Tiger reference. Then he unloaded with the one that was probably my favorite, from my wrestling match almost six years ago calling pumpkins fake just like wrestling.

Then I got inspired and scrolled through old photos on Facebook and came up with several witty (if I do say so myself) comebacks. The most popular by far was the “HarnAss” one which actually came to me after seeing a tweet about the Tiguan. After a few more barbs in either direction, Tom texted me and asked if I could come by and do a video.


It wasn’t until I arrived at Irons in the Fire in Carterville that it was revealed to me that Tom was conceding. I had a few more up my sleeve, but I’ll save those memes for next year. I know some people had grown tired of seeing all the posts over the past two weeks, but it’s been a nice break from reality. I’d rather look at some funny pics about pumpkins than hear people going on about politics. But just like politics, I know we didn’t change anyone’s minds in the Pumpkin Wars. We just had a lot of fun. So until next year or the Gingerbread (or eggnog) Wars, we’re signing off.


kevinhunsblogger View All

I'm a former TV news guy turned marketing manager. I like to blog, podcast and watch pro wrestling.

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